Tad Thomlinsonbergurson (TT): Is cryogenic freezing itself a pre-existing condition?
Ned: Not as such.
TT: What of the pre-existing conditions that were the reasons for undertaking the cryogenic freezing?
Ned: Death.
TT: Sorry?
Ned: Thank you, but it’s okay. I didn’t even know her.
TT: No, that’s not what I mean. It just took me a second to realize that “Death” was your answer to the pre-existing condition.
Ned: I see. Right. I do not think health insurance can be expected to cover death.
TT: I would ask you to please take this interview seriously, Mr. Shoobedoo?
Ned: Absolutely. My apologies Mr. Thomlinsonbergurson.
TT: Perhaps we could start over?
Ned: That would be ideal.
TT: Thank you. So, if I understand your literature, you believe that since death is nothingness it needs to be mankind’s primary goal to live forever.
Ned: Well, that’s the bad poetry version of it, but essentially that is correct.

TT: So let’s say I were to find myself paying an unfairly high monthly alimony.
Ned: I don’t follow.
TT: And I was getting a little too old for the dating scene that I’m accustomed to.
Ned: Please stop.
TT: How much would it cost to put me on ice until my ex-wife is dead and/or women are generally okay dating much older men with almost no means of supporting themselves financially?
Ned: I was afraid this is where this conversation was heading.
TT: So… this isn’t a thing then?
Ned: Oh, it’s a thing Mr. Thomlinsonbergurson. In fact, can I interest you in a reverse mortgage?